True Life: He Only Dated Me for My Hair

by Tori

Before I started my hair journey, my relaxed hair was about shoulder length. After starting a healthy hair regimen, my hair quickly responded to the TLC and increased in length. Right before I decided to big chop, my hair was healthy and at bra strap length. With that being said, let me tell you the story of Mr. X, the guy I met who liked me for my hair.

I met Mr. X at an event I attended with family. We chatted for a while at the event and he asked me out on a date.  He seemed like a nice guy, so I figured why not. During our conversation, he complimented me on my hair several times and expressed his admiration for how long and beautiful it was. I was flattered since I wasn’t always used to getting compliments about my hair (particularly about the length). I was still transitioning during this time, but because it was a special event, I had decided to flat iron my hair. Mr. X and I seemed to have a lot in common and the first date went well.

Flat Ironed Transitioning Hair

Well, about two weeks after meeting Mr. X, I randomly decided to big chop. I was excited about my newly natural hair, although, I had to get used to seeing myself with short natural hair. The next time I saw Mr. X, he seemed shocked. Even though I told him over the phone that had I cut my hair, I guess the ‘look’ still came as a surprise. He wanted to know what I was going to do with it and if I planned on relaxing it again. I told him I had no interest in relaxing again and I just wanted to grow it out naturally. He also told me that he never dated anyone with natural hair and expressed that he preferred a ‘silkier look’. The conversation about my hair was surprising. Did he really just say he liked a ‘silkier look’? Wow. Well, after that interaction, I heard from Mr. X less and less until eventually we no longer spoke.

Was I surprised that he lost ‘interest’ after I big chopped? A little. I have heard of guys who preferred their ladies with relaxed hair/weaves, but somehow I didn’t think those types of men really existed. I guess I was a little naïve. Either way, I’m glad I dodged that bullet called Mr. X. Any guy who is interested in me only because of my physical appearance (hair or otherwise) isn’t the type of guy I want to be with anyway. This was certainly an interesting experience.

Have you ever had a similar experience? Any guy ever expressed their dislike for your natural hair?

About Tori: I’m Tori, a Jamaican-born natural currently living in Texas. I was reunited with my natural texture in January 2012 when I big chopped, after transitioning for a year and a half. I am still learning about my natural hair, and hope to share the knowledge and experiences I gain as I continue on my natural hair journey. You can find me on Instagram @bonafidestyle.